Experimenting

Experimenting can be a little scary at times. Today I experimented with some very large cookies. I have been thinking of maybe offering a larger version of cookie at market. These Hugo's are only slightly smaller than my hand. I have been dreaming of baking and making things that might remind one of a upscale coffee and or bakery. The best part of big cookies is that they are easier to handle and are a perfect size for an after dinner dessert (unless you're dieting!).  I daydream sometimes of having a small bakery/coffee shop. I love being around people and would love making someone's day better by simple ways, through good food and a genuine smile. If only I could start growing my own coffee, how amazing and wonderful that be! I don't know anything about coffee plants. But in my house we absolutely love our coffee in the mornings. Most the time I can't help but ask myself why I have all these dreams. At times I feel I own to many. Amongst them is a farm(including raw produce, fresh eggs, grass fed beef), a bakery, then there is the dream of having kids. How I would love to bring up my kids in the open space of a farm. I would totally get into sewing them beautiful, colorful, feminine dresses (having that said if they were all girls. But also when they were out playing have a steady closet full of play clothes (boys can fit this area well). And more than anything I would want the eviroment they grew up in to feel safe; a protected sort of place. I would love to give my kids strong shoulders that are ready for real work and a understanding and compassionate heart. What I want for them is what I always wanted. To love others that are not family, like family. And to help encourage and give others hope. One that goes beyond this life. A hope that cannot simply be stolen away by a wave of tragedy or doubt. I am sure these dreams are to some to much, not that I am saying all these dreams of mine need to be filled. But what I truly want more than anything else is to be who I am everywhere I am at. I am becoming more comfortable with that, day by day I reclaim everything that this world and it's system has stolen. And I am finding true beauty is what you see most in a storm. Something that is more and more obvious to me here lately; is that as much as I think that I am at a stand still. I am doing things that I have never done before. For example "Lynn's," it is a pretty good example of a lot of my desires in a nut shell. I started it in my mind years and years ago. Talking about it, and setting it to the side many times. But finally it's here. It took real effort on my part. And I know how much it is important to not let a business pull at my heartstrings, but this embodies so much of who I am; and what I dream of.  Plan's are still being made in the future. So many things I feel insecure about. The not knowing... That can really get old. But plans are there. So as we tackle the forever big task of fixing up our home. When it's finished we can focus on what really matters, a new home and with that the real dream; owning a farm! But for now, as I wait patiently for every thing to fall into place, I am going to continue my farming here; urban style!!! And everyday I am going to thank the Lord who cares deeply for me and for the blessing to get this thing started. I love you Jesus.